Leisure Lifestyles by Robert A. Stebbins

Author:Robert A. Stebbins [Stebbins, Robert A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781442221598
Barnesnoble:
Goodreads: 17887966
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2013-09-05T00:00:00+00:00

Sociable Conversation

In Stebbins (1997b) I wrote, following Simmel (1949), that the essence of sociable conversation lies in its playfulness, a quality enjoyed for its intrinsic value. Sociable conversation guarantees the participants maximization of such values as joy, relief, and vivacity; it is a democratic activity in that the pleasure of one person is dependent on that of the other people in the exchange. Because it is a noninstrumental exchange between persons, sociable conversation is destroyed when someone introduces a wholly personal interest or goal and maintained when all participants exhibit amiability, cordiality, attractiveness, and proper breeding.

Sociable conversation is evident in a diversity of activities. For instance, it happens in gatherings over coffee or drinks (e.g., coffee breaks at work, receptions at conferences and after religious services, pauses taken in cafés at museums and tourist sites), and lively chats at beer gardens, sidewalk cafés, and neighborhood pubs. Sociable conversation sometimes emerges on long-distance airplane flights and train trips, and it is the dominant theme of social media–based talk enjoyed via the cell phone.

A casual walk with one or more friends, relatives, or colleagues is likely to inspire chatting, though this appears to be less so for hiking. The latter is commonly of longer duration and often more arduous, leaving thus less energy for complex conversation. Still, hikers take the occasional break to rest, during which, talk may turn to local environmental interests (e.g., flora, fauna, trail conditions, hiking challenges), developments in the weather, comparisons with similar outings, and the like.

Gossip may figure partially or exclusively in any sociable conversation. It is not limited to a particular kind of sociable conversation. A central requirement is having a shared object of discussion and a desire to evaluate it collectively. Novelist Joseph Conrad once observed that “gossip is what no one claims to like, but everybody enjoys.” In other words, gossip is sociable conversation only when the object is someone who is not present. When present, that person would find the conversation lacking Simmel's amiability, cordiality, attractiveness, and proper breeding, thereby destroying its sociable nature.

Reminiscing is not only relaxing, but is also a main form of sociable conversation. The I-remember-when sessions of talk, if properly sociable, bring up past events and people of interest to the other participants. A reminiscence may be gossipy or it may be braggadocian, where the latter as a display of conceit spoils the pleasure that all who are present expect to experience.

Leisure lifestyles composed substantially of sociable conversation appear to consist of a combination of sociable activities. An example is that of a person who gathers regularly during the week with friends at a local coffee shop, converses with another set of them on Friday evenings at a nearby bar, participates faithfully in the receptions following religious services, and, as an avid hiker, finds ample sociable conversation while on the trail.

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